


N is for Neanderthal

by Ultra



Series: Lost in Space [3]
Category: Firefly
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Attempt at Humor, F/M, Gen, Post-Serenity (2005), Words
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-31
Updated: 2011-01-31
Packaged: 2020-02-26 15:34:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18719956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ultra/pseuds/Ultra
Summary: Jayne may be a Neanderthal, but that's not necessarily a bad thing...





	N is for Neanderthal

**Author's Note:**

> originally written for revdorothyl on LiveJournal as part of a prompt meme.

“River, I am not going to let you marry this... this... Neanderthal!” Simon exploded, when faced with the sight of his mei mei holding hands with Jayne Cobb and declaring her wish to be his wife.

“Hey, ain’t no call for that, son,” the Captain jumped in, more mindful of his merc kicking the doctor through Serenity’s engine than anything else, and he would if’n he had a mind to.

“Ain’t botherin’ me none, Mal,” said Jayne with a worrying sort of a smirk. “Doc oughta do his research ‘afore he comes name-calling is all,” he said smartly.

River was practically beaming, even wider now than a moment before when she announced her supposed engagement.

“I believe Jayne may have a point, Simon,” Inara reluctantly agreed, hardly able to keep from smiling herself. “Whilst Neanderthal has long since been used as a word synonymous with an ape or similar, it is quite an unfounded usage.”

“Can we please just get back to the point that my sister has gone... even more crazy!” the doctor yelled some more, though nobody was payin’ much mind, ‘ceptin’ for little Kaylee who was trying to shush him.

“I always figured on cavemen and the like not bein’ so bright,” said Zoe, looking to the Companion for further explanation, as Mal did the same, though it was River and Jayne who cut in with the answer.

“They was all kinds o’ smart,” the merc explained, his arms around River’s shoulders now. “Spoke like proper folk, more or less, made fancy tools...”

“Lived in complex social groups, cared for families, and ate a balanced diet.” River smiled. “Very advanced for their time on Earth-That-Was,” she concluded, smiling overly much at her now apoplectic brother.

“I can’t believe this!” he practically exploded. “My little sister wants to marry Jayne, and you’re all debating my use of the word Neanderthal?” he checked, finding the whole thing ridiculous.

“Well, when you put it like that,” the Captain said, getting up from his seat and rounding the table to face the happy couple. “Congratulations, lil ‘Tross, Jayne,” he said, kissing the pilot’s cheek and shaking the mercenary’s hand.

Inara and Zoe followed suit, and Kaylee eventually shrugged her shoulders and joined in, whilst Simon looked on, wide-eyed and even wider mouthed.

“No, _this_ is what going mad feels like!”


End file.
